Scott's Edition 47: Back in the Tank

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October 10, 2021

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The Name Behind the News

October 10, 2021

Edition 47: Back in the Tank

It's 10/10! I scoured the internet and could not find a word to describe this type of date where the month and day are equal. Does a word exist for such an occurrence? If you know it, please let me know! If not, we'll have to create one next week. Good thing we have a new section for that (check it out below). With that, let's dive into this week's news!

Weekly Stats

# of U.S. COVID cases (7-day average)

95,448, ↓ 11.6% since last week

% of U.S. population fully vaccinated

56.2%, ↑ 0.6% since last week

# of NFL games in London played between two teams with winning records

0 out of 29

# of NFL QBs who have beaten all 32 teams

4, ↑ 1 since last week

# of seasons of Shark Tank

13, ↑ 1 since last week

As Richmond's self-proclaimed arbiter of the written word, I'm always looking for a way to make the English language more elegant. While I've experimented with sentence structure and turns-of-phrase, I've yet to tackle the basis of language: word choice. To be honest, Merriam-Webster has lacked innovation lately. So, I've consulted with Hollywood writer Jordan Dumbroff to fill the void. Each week, we'll add a new, much needed word to the English language!

Ignomoromic

/ig-noh-muh-rom-ik/

adjective

An incomparable custom
A habit unlike any other

Ex: Paul Ryan explained, "It's not ALL Republicans! The fact that Ted Cruz eats children is ignomoromic!"

Week in Review

Denying Deniers: On Thursday, both Google and YouTube announced a policy that content creators can no longer make money off of denying climate change. A little late to the game? Scott's Edition has had that policy about ALL forms of content since we started!

The Rich: The Forbes 400 list of America's wealthiest individuals dropped this week. It was the first time in 25 years that Donald Trump's name did not appear on the list. The leading theory as to why he was left off: He's not among the 400 wealthiest individuals in America.

Close the Book: This week, Facebook faced two widespread outages. The company claimed a faulty update caused the outage, but an inside source revealed processing power was temporarily diverted away from Facebook to allow for Mark Zuckerberg's annual software update.

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Shark Tank Returns

Season 13 of America's favorite investment show is back. While the show highlights some cool new business concepts and inventions, it only shows a fraction of all the ideas presented to the Sharks. We got our hands on a list of all the proposals that were never aired. Let's take a look at a select few that should have gotten a shot.

The Product: Hoverpic, the space age picture frame.

The Pitch: This picture frame is downright cool. Instead of displaying your art in a motionless, wall-mounted frame, Hoverpic lets your images come to life. Using patented fan-blade technology, Hoverpic floats around your home creating an ever-changing aesthetic.

The Sharks: Mark Cuban explained, "I just can't get past the fact that, for 10 minutes of use, it take five hours of battery charging."

The Product: Where Are My Keys, the aging homeowner's assistant.

The Pitch: This device uses a mix of visual sensors and AI to track where you leave your keys.

The Sharks: Barbara Corcoran questioned, "Why is it a key-sized device that you have to carry with you?"

The Product: AddicTV, the subscription box that helps you to combat your football-watching obsession.

The Pitch: Each week, AddicTV delivers a few items to ease your way out of your Sunday football obsession. Instead of being sucked into hours of games, you can spend time exercising, reading a book, or going out with your family.

The Sharks: Mr. Wonderful stated, "I don't get it. The box just comes with NY Jets apparel in it?"

Comics Described

Artists get all the credit for a good comic strip, but I think it’s the writing that really makes or breaks them. To really focus on the writing, I’ve removed those pesky cartoons and will simply explain the comic strip. I think this will create a much more enjoyable experience for the reader.

B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for October 05, 2021

Today's comic strip is only one panel. We see a close up of a tree branch. A centipede walks along one of the leaves while another watches from afar.

The first centipede explains, "I'm going to the gym. See you in six hours."

The second centipede responds, "Leg day, huh?"

Hahahaha! A centipede going to the gym? Ridiculous!!!

Thanks for reading!

Congrats to Jessie and Gary on getting married!

Happy belated birthday to Elizabeth!

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I'm Scott, and this is Scott's Edition. Have a great start to the week!

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